fairytales.do.not.exist

2010-12-25T14:07:00.001+08:00

獨自一人的聖誕夜

從來不曉得為什麼別人都可以快樂的慶祝聖誕節

而自己卻是只能在一旁默默地看著...

東城衛爆走搖滾演唱會-It's My Life

2010-12-25T13:35:00.000+08:00

DCW performing Bon Jovi's It's my life.

2010-12-20T22:42:00.003+08:00

Its three weeks since my A Levels ended.
So much things have happened since.
From looking for a job, the never-ending job interviews, Prom, Korea trip and I AM FINALLY WORKING NOW.
I am looking forward to work tml.

Anyway cos today is my off day so i had nth much to do and I just wasted the whole day by rewatching K.O 3anguo and the new drama:Love Buffet. Somehow i realised that shu's acting is a little unnatural in some episodes, like his facial expressions are little weird but ep 47 totally made me cry again, i bet i will still cry no matter how many times I watched it. I could feel it. The pain of separation, the deep love between them.. And if I havent mentioned before, normally I wouldnt cry when I watch dramas, but I cannot stand guys crying, just like how some guys cant stand girls crying. Seeing a guy cry is so gonna make me cry too, though I am not quite sure why. It's just a very sad feeling. I feel ultra helpless when I see guys crying T.T

Anyways, Love Buffet is a nice show with most of the cast in K.O 3anguo acting as extras. quite funny too. shld watch it! I am so gonna be addicted to it :D

There are times when I felt helpless,
and I called your name thinking that you could come to my rescue,
but you never did.
I am so foolish to think that way...
Utterly Stupid.

2010-12-01T21:51:00.001+08:00

YOU KNOW WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

MY EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!

YAAYYYYYYYY!!!!

2010-11-23T23:04:00.001+08:00

ONE MORE PAPER LET ONLY!!!!!

HAHA.

TEMPORARY LIBERATION IS NEAR!!!

went to watch harry potter today after econs paper(:

lol. Seriously i think that e whole movie is funny! but i like it!!! and i cant rmb e plot though i read it two yrs ago. Hehe. Cant wait for the next one!!!(:

Good day!
:D
Luv
Yve(:

2010-11-20T12:11:00.001+08:00

这几天都在下雨。。。
把我的心情弄得好忧郁哦。
希望天气可以不要那么反复无常!

要去读书咯。
拜拜^^

Cheers
Yve

2010-11-19T22:41:00.001+08:00

I havent been able to blog for a long long time cos of several reasons with the most obvious being I AM HAVING A LEVELS NOW!! and i tried to reduce the distractions from the net by disconnecting my modem and computer and everything but obviously it didnt work bcos my dad went to connect the modem back and here i am using wireless on my phone>< epic failure but i really try to reduce e usage alr!!

Anyways i am halfway thru my exams.. 3 More papers left! i seriously cant wait for it to end!! And thn its gonna be party time.

Woah. I realise sth. I TOTALLY SOUNDED LIKE A FAN GIRL WHO LOST HER MIND OVER DCW in my previous post.just to clarify, i just feel that they are cool. I am not those who will want them to be bf or even marry thm. Tts kinda too much. No pun intended and sorry if anyone is offended.

Wells. But their songs accompanied me thru e days when i was studying. 2 more weeks!!!! yayyyy:D

on a sidenote, i wanna learn how to compose!! (:

Ohhh.... And i wanna go sj's concert! (:

I realised tt there are alot of people who have difficulty pronouncing my name so i think i shld hv a christian name but before i finally decide what name to use, i will just stick to yve, shortform of yvelyn which i thought of when i was in primary school? Lol. The eve to all the joyous occassions! :D

hehe
tts all.
Till next time,
Luv yve (:

2010-09-26T22:40:00.002+08:00

i stayed at home for the whole of yesterday.
just slack around and did nothing much.
just realised how long i have not practised my guitar...
look at all those dust on my guitar bag):
felt really upset when i took my guitar out and tried to practised it...
realised tt i really need to spend more time to brush up my skills cos i cant even play the chords properly...
i think just knowing how to play the melody doesnt really helps..
i promise that i am going to go for proper lessons after A levels...
at least it will help me when i want to compose songs.
lol.
my sudden dream of writing songs.

anyway.
i did something that i am probably going to regret again.
i actually stepped into the salon and rebonded my hair even though i sweared that i am not going to rebond it ever again after the previous time..
sigh.
i am always that fickle-minded.
looking at my hair now...
i cant do anything but to sigh more.
sian.
now only can wait for it to grow long!!
hope that it will be long enough by prom.

anyways i spent the whole night preparing graduation gifts...
boohoo.
and i only managed to finish for one person!
wonder how many nights its gonna take me to finish for everyone i have in mind.
jiayou to myself! :D
but i still have one month to go so its gonna be ok(:

just a little random note:
even though i may choose who to idolise based on their looks more often than not, but i really really really^infinity like DCW cos they are super talented. maybe not they but i really think that shumetheny(quite a weird name, but tt's not e main point) is very talented. he plays the guitar super duper well and the songs that he wrote are really meaningful. and by reading his blog i am really motivated to learn guitar properly and try and write down the lyrics that float across my mind(:

there's school tml so i am gonna end here.

CHEERS(:
~yuqi

2010-09-24T22:41:00.003+08:00

从我看了终极三国后，我的脑海里浮现非常多的感想。。。
虽然说我周遭的朋友都不是很喜欢这套戏，
但是我深深的觉得它让我感受到了那强烈的友谊。
常听人说真金不怕火炼，
但是在这尔虞我诈的现实社会中，
又有多少人愿意牺牲自己，
誓死保护自己的兄弟爱人？
答案大家都应该心知肚明吧。

信任随时可脱口而出，
变得那么泛滥，廉价。
友谊是建立在信任上
没有了信任又何来友谊呢？

虽然终极三国的剧情的确是有点夸大，
但是我仍然非常喜欢!! (:
它似乎比现实感觉更加现实。。

那天我想了很多，
但是我却不记得了。
我短暂的记忆已随风而去。
希望下一次可以把我记得的都写下来吧。

END OF PRELIMS!!!! HOORAY!!! (:

2010-09-24T22:17:00.002+08:00

prelims officially ended today...
and i got my hands onto my desktop...
and i can use my comp officially (though i have been surfing the net with my phone but shh.... tts a secret). lol

We (the USUAL 6) went out today after the chem paper.
and WE went to the USUAL place - cineleisure.
somehow singapore seems to be that small to the extent that we only go to cineleisure after any papers etc.
sigh.
anyway.
cos we ended at 9 plus and reached there at around 10... so we had to waste our time before the sushi restaurant is open and before we can eat our buffet.
oh..i realised that today is such an eventful one.
the buffet cost about 22 bucks and the best thing is i did not eat anything...
no exactly did not eat anything but i vomited everything that i ate.
omg.
and the cheesecake only make things worse. gosh.

oh and we watched resident evil.
seriously.
i do not recommend this show.
honestly.
no pun intended though.
but seriously...
the plot is like totally....
speechless.
full of loopholes and unrealistic.
its really quite bad.
but if u like all the action then probably its still alright.

the 6 of us are damn NOOB.
lol.
cos we keep facing obstacles or rather keep doing stupid stuff like going around in circles and leaving the place earlier and end up seeing people who were supposed to be behind us.
...
and somehow we keep seeing HCians (7A) and cedarians. its like some gathering.
is that what people call destiny or fate?
probably.
haha :D

AND I DIDNT MANAGE TO BUY DONG CHENG WEI'S ALBUM.
i am freaking disappointed.
i thought i would be able to get it.. ):
*pouts*

AND i really think that its time to lose some weight cos I COULDNT GET INTO THE LIFT!!!!
the overweight bell just rang when i step into the lift):
oh man.
tts very saddening...
although the lift was already filled with people but still...
sad):

TODAY marks the day when the whole world knows that i have butter fingers.
whatever that i touch will somehow drop....
since dunnoe when.
i already knew that i was accident prone but butter fingers are urhm..
a new phenomenon that is happening to me.
from the steam egg to the boiled egg to i dunnoe wad... >.<
faints.

oh and really sorry to junyi and hong run cos i didnt hear them calling me at serangoon bus-stop cos i was too engrossed messaging. paiseh!
they had to like shout my name... (which is pretty embarrasing but nvm...)
haha.
SORRY!

i realised that i have not been blogging very often but i will try to do so during this period of time before A levels. i think i need somewhere to express my opinions about certain issues and some reflections.

i totally regret not picking up a musical instrument cos i have a lot of lyrics flowing thru my mind but i cant seem to fit them into a melody): oh this is kinda random but...its true.

and another random thing... a baby lizard tts crawling around in my study room seems to be squashed by the fan. though its kinda sad for the lizard but i am still glad tt i dun have to worry about a lizard crawling around anymore. RIP baby lizard!

i shall end my post here (:

ciao~
till next time(:

東城衛&曾沛慈-夠愛MV[完整版]

2010-09-22T15:51:00.000+08:00

I have been wanting to post this for quite some time alr. the song in the video if u understand the lyrics, its really very touching.

Recently i am very addicted to a taiwanese drama .

I found it very addictive but somehow my friends dont seem to like it):

probably is cos of my training in my cca so when i look at a show i think beyond what is presented.. the purpose of it...

like even though its very exaggerated and stuff....

i could see that the cast has established a really strong friendship.... after 1 year and 4 month of acting together...

and in the show itself... how they could sacrifice themselves for each other to protect those that they care for, their loved ones...

it just made me reflect alot....

if only i could type in chinese with my laptop....

haiz.

i realise that i think a lot about life.... about what i want and who i want to be...

but i never learnt to cherish the friends around me.

i must admit that i am not a trusting person... i dont open up to people easily or i wont really tell people what i am thinking about so maybe... i may not be what i seem to be.

my thoughts now really cant be described in english... honestly. i will post again if i get my hands onto my desktop.

one last paper for prelims on friday... jiayou!

2010-07-26T19:50:00.001+08:00

It has been a month since i last updated this blog.

Just one more month to prelims.
Was just wondering... Does not being in e band one lecture grp means tt my A is more or less gone?
I am scared.

My English standard has been deteriorating and getting worse.
Somehow.... I just can't seem to improve it>.<

i dun hv much to say other than good luck to everyone who is running in e same race as i am.
Second last lap alr!

till next time which i have no idea when...
Ciao

2010-06-06T23:07:00.002+08:00

pardon my limited vocab to describe my current emotion.

people have been telling me that i have to mug hard this holidays so that i can at least pass my block test. Honestly, academics were nothing that i had to work extra hard for when i was in secondary school. Everything just seem to be fine and i never had to worry about it that much. Now, its really causing a headache. Turning my life upside down.

Its only now that i realise the scary side of life... of how wicked and cruel people can be. I dun wanna live in a world surrounded by nothing but lies. please just cut me some slack and leave me alone. THANKS.

2010-05-16T21:05:00.002+08:00

time flies.
it has been about one whole month since i last updated my blog.
i had been sick for the past few days so I was not able to go to school.
Schoolwork has piled up and i am really afraid that i cant catch up again.
and only 6 more weeks to test of reality.
i am stressed.
and this is why my health is failing me isnt it?
oh wells.
i will just take whatever that comes my way i guess.
good luck to all.

2010-04-18T23:49:00.002+08:00

had 第29届筹委检讨会议ytd.
it marks the end of my responsibility as part of the organising com in huang cheng.
cant believe that all of us actually set there for like seven and a half hours talking, though most of the time i was just listening. i am amazed at my attention span though. haha. never tot i could sit still for tt long without doin anything much. haha:D

just realized tt i have been living in my own world for too long. there are actually so many things tt i dun noe.... all the gossips and scandals... tsktsk. it was really fun having dinner with the rest of the organising com at astons. i was literally bombarded with all the scandals and gossips. haha. sometimes it is just quite fun to listen about stories of other people. no pun intended here. had a great time laughing at stupid things but towards the end i was quite lost at whatever they were saying. maybe cos i was tired and my brain was malfunctioning?? haha. and i realised tt i am damn ignorant about what's happening around me. ultra lag. my radar (RAH-DA or RAY-DA)wasnt working too well i guess.

andand i think i am damn stupid lar! cos i have been to sixth ave before, so i dint noe how to go home!!!!! ): like some lost kid cos zhiyi say the bus-stop opposite didnt have my bus.... so we had to walk ahead to look for the bus-stop but then when we walked ahead.... there wasnt any bus-stop. boohoo. so i decided to return to the shop and wait for rouying to go home with me. though i don't live at the same place/ same area as her, at least she stays the nearest to me. yupps. so i returned and they were still happily gossiping and chit-chatting. and after i returned i totally couldnt understand what they were saying. like alien languages.... they were like murmuring and i was like trying to lip-read and haiz. i eventually gave up and hahaha. sorry to rou but haha i tugged her sleeve and told her tt i want to go home. i was really behaving like some kid ytd. it was super duper embarrassing when i went back and told them tt i dint noe how to get home): like some kid dunnoe her way home... haiz. i need to learn the bus routes soon or else i will be paying the cabbies a lot. it will be much better if i can get my driving license soon...*prays hard*

anw. its past midnight now. and there's sch tml. so i m going to sleep alr.
good night:D

P/s: sorry to my mortal if u noe who i am cos i keep forgetting to bring ur letter to sch. i wrote it two weeks ago but havent gave u yet. sorry.

2010-04-11T19:13:00.002+08:00

i was still in the props deapartment in huang cheng a year ago.
on the same exact day, we were still trying very hard to finish our props.
and then it was the actual performance after multiple rehearsals.
after the actual performances, we had xiao huang cheng which was a spoof of the actual one and everybody had a chance to act. it was followed by the election of the committee of the chinese society and then huang cheng.
my responsibility of a fuzhuang zu zhang started about in july when we officially took over and had to attend courses to prepare us.
huang cheng 2010 ended ytd.
9 months worth of preparation ended.
i would not have to stay back until very late on school days anymore. i will have more time to myself. but is that what i really want? is tt really good for me??
i will miss those days when i had to really research on the costumes and rack my brains over what type of costumes would fit best. read the script multiple times and keep a lookout on the runs. understand the plot and what the character really is and how to best outline the character with the costumes. there were so many things that had to be done before the actual clothes could be presented on stage.
and then everything ended.
i cried alot after the last show ytd. the thought of having such a successful show made me cry and thinking about how diff it was to decide on the costumes made me cry even more. there were too many things that i could cry for, given that i was very emotional then.
the rehearsal on thurs was cancelled and that made a lot of us very worried. how could we do a performance with only 2 full drees rehearsals, especially when so many things changed since then. the show on fri night was quite screwed up and had scoldings from various teachers. luckily the shows on sat proved that miracles do happen(:
i am proud to say that huang cheng 2010 was a great success. haha. juniors gotta jiayou for the next one! :D

2010-03-29T14:12:00.003+08:00

时间过得很快。

刚刚到了台湾buddy的无名，

看了一些以前的照片。

那仿佛已经是好久好久以前的事了。

~不知道为什么会突然用华文。。。

wells.. i shld switch back.

block test ended last friday with only one concluding word: "screwed". cant describe how screwed i am. just hoping that i wun be suspended from cca even if i get 4Us....

and i havent been able to use the comp since my block test ended cos i wasnt feeling too good.....

i totally experienced the live and death experience on saturday.... exaggerated as it may sound but trust me it was close to that. i went down to the clinic in my neighbourhood at 12.30 when it was supposed to close at 1 cos i forgot tt it opens half day on weekends. the nurse at the counter gave me a queue number which reads 2. and then she told me that the number starts again after 50. so i looked at the waiting list and counted.... WTS. there was like 15 ppl in front of me???????!!!!!!!!!!! i was alr like burning hot. i swear i almost melted. i was super feverish and my tears just kept streaming. i did not want to tear in front of so many other patients but i couldnt help it... it just keeps coming down. maybe tts a natural thing to cool my face when its burning hot. i really felt weak all over and i only know that my limbs were freezing cold and my body was burning. i was already wearing a cardigan over my t-shirt and jeans..... yet i was still shivering when i am feeling damn feverish? i dunnoe if u get what it means. haiz.i had to wait for a freaking one hour before its my turn to see e doc?! madness. i felt super terrible throughout the whole waiting process with several moments that i felt unconscious. in the end when i finally went to see the doc, he took my temperature and said "40 degree celsius".. i almost fainted. woah. scary. my brain was being cooked in "40 degree celsius" when i waited for one whole hour?! haiz. but luckily i recover alot alr and my fever subsided:D

lalalalala.... no sch for e day.

good day

2010-03-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

sometimes your words just cut thru me like a knife blade. can't you just be a little kinder to me, like how you treat the others?

2010-02-26T23:46:00.002+08:00

the sudden feeling of nostalgia.
if only things could return to how it was a year ago, definitely without the academic part but everything else was perfect.
life is super hectic now.
i miss the good old days):
blocks is in 2 weeks time.
good luck peps.

2010-02-24T23:03:00.004+08:00

i felt rather melanchonic just now at the bus-stop when my bus took super long to come.

the bus-stop was empty, not of people, but of familiar faces.

i stood there alone, listening to e songs playing on my iphone and yet none of the lyrics actually sink in.

i was just stoning when vehicles zoomed past me.

the feeling of emptiness and lonliness enveloped me.

just imagine how glad i am to see the bus arriving.

for a lack of better words to describe my feelings then, perhaps just look at the picture above. it is just the thought of being alone and helpless. pardon my lack of vocabulary to describe it.

bye.

2010-02-24T22:45:00.002+08:00

hihi.
haha.
anws. haven really post for quite long.
loads of grandmother stories to tell here but i shall keep it short and sweet.

first of all, i am goin to be a vampire and avoid sunlight as far as posible.not in the sense that i am going to suck people's blood or sth similar to tt cos i will faint when i see blood so dun even need to think about drinking it. yucks. after the surf and sweat and bike rally event, i totally have phobia of sunlight. the burnt was terrible and i was like cooked or sth. my shoulders would hurt even when my shirt comes into contact with it. sianz. i hate the sun now):

boohoo.
next.
the day before vday and cny celeb in sch, i had a shock of my life cos my taiwan buddy asked me to bring the necklace that she gave me to sch and go to the room under audi for a surprise. oh wells. i was never someone who likes surprise so.... anw. i knew she was "up to no good" but i have no idea what she planning about. lolx. anyway, cos tt day was half day so we ended sch early and i obediently went to roa at 10 plus( earlier than the 12pm that she told me) lolx. and i dint see ath.... any surprise or whatever... actually, i thought that she came to singapore or what. lol. i was so gullible. anyways. so i didnt get to see what her surprise is and perhaps someone can enlighten me on tt cos i really want to know what she was up to.

then it was cny. went back to malaysia and nearly got killed by the weather. everyday was about 38 degree C and i almost melted lar. so haha. i dint do ath except for sleeping and eating cos there wasnt aircon and the hot weather makes u feel super lethargic. so my cny passed rather fast with all the sleeping and eating. i bet i gained quite alot of weight. oops. there goes my supposed diet plan. haha. but i am very satisfied to be able to sleep so much. like sleep one whole year worth?? haha. tts abit exaggerated lar but i really slept alot.

huang cheng has started full scale alr.i gonna be super super duper duper busy. and the good news is, blocks is in 2 weeks time. good luck to myself and those fellow last minute workers who are stuck in the same boat as me. gambatte!

ciao

2010-02-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes all i need is just a smile from you~

2010-01-27T22:16:00.002+08:00

i was in a really bad mood(frustrated and completely helplessness) today.
so i am going to apologise in advance that the following post will be full of rants and emo-ness.

actually, sometimes i just wonder if i m not tt outstanding enough that i can be completely invinsible... there's really nothing that i can do about it but its just like tt. cos i m in a new environment and if they do not accept and respect me for who i m then what can i do??? NOTHING. honestly. totally nothing. it makes me very pissed at myself. i am really someone who can be killed by guilt and self criticism. I SWEAR THAT I DID NOT BRING MY PHONE TO SCHOOL AND I DID NOT EVEN CHECK MY PHONE THIS MORNING OR I WLD HV BROUGHT IT TO SCHOOL. i dun want to be deemed useless and worthless like some invalid person. i want to be useful. i need ppl to noe my presence and not treat me like some transparent person.i want to do something. i want to know what is going on though i might be a little blur. what will i be to the juniors? some unknown senior who slacks around??!! no way. i dun want tt. seriously>.< i dun want to be seen an worthless. What can i do? perhaps someone can enlighten me. I need someone to tell me what is wrong now so tt i can change and improve and do sth rite. i dun wan to be so useless. DO U GET IT? zzzz omg. i seriously cant seem to control my thoughts and emotions and i am goin back to the old question of why am i doing this and doing tt. i was just wondering why am i having so many tuitions and totally exhausting myself to death??? for what?! damn.

enough of all tt. its totally spoiling my day. i wonder how am i going to survive this year. freak.
leave me to die in guilt.
i regret my choices and i m doubting them now.
sian ttm.

i m looking forward to the end of this year man.
haha. what a funny thing to say in january.
whatever lar.
i still pray for a good year ahead.

~i don't wanna be alone.

2010-01-22T23:15:00.002+08:00

i broke my promise.
here i am blogging again.
only after a few days):

school has started for a few days already and i feel really strange, like lost perhaps? even though school ends early everyday, i will just return home and take super long afternoon naps and then go back to sleep at 11 plus. i saw an article on the newspaper about people who like to sleep alot. it seems as though sleeping is a way to escape from something.... do i need to escape from sth? or maybe is there sth tt i want to avoid? perhaps... i am not really sure of my emotions right now since it is really mixed up and stuff. it just feels as though my whole life is being messed up. maybe a few bottles of vodka will do. hah. i am just kidding. being drunk doesnt help at all cos there will be more things awaiting for you when u regain consciousness. temporary liberation isnt the right solution. it is futile. waste of time.

i just came home from tuition. i was totally zonked out during the whole tuition. today's session was completely useful to me>.< haiz. nothing went in. and i finally realised how good my english is. i wonder how am i going to improve it within the remaining months left. seriously.

i walked around blindly in the dark, unsure of my directions and worried about getting hurt.
who is going to be there for me? to hold on to me when i cant see a thing without lights?
Will you stay by my side and be my guiding star?

if only i am willing to eat carrots>.< haiz.

bad day.
i wish for a better tomorrow!
good night(:

2010-01-20T21:33:00.002+08:00

i dunoe what's wrong with me...
i have been getting quite emo easily
and countless times when i was on the brink of crying (perhaps i did tear)...
its just the feeling of helplessness...
like being stranded on a deserted island
and being left alone to fend for myself

i woke up from the dream in taiwan
but i am still getting lots of de javu on the days there
i keep linking everything tt happened here to taiwan unknowingly
i am just reluctant to stay awake..
why not just let me go back into deep slumber and back into the dream.

haiz.
stop emo-ing man!
okok.
good news: i dun hv to take SAT in 3 days(:
haha(:
yay!
more time to prepare(:

chinese new year is coming and i wanna loads of new clothes!
haha.
looking forward to shopping(:
ciao.
P/s: i will TRY to keep to my promise of using less comp.

未来是个未知数

2010-01-15T22:55:00.004+08:00

消失的地平线
乍看下是一望无际的前方
突然显得格外的渺茫
不知有都少高山需要登越
不知有多少海洋需要横越
仿佛像一艘船在大海中随性地漂浮
那么不知何去何从
眼前排山倒海而来的挑战迎面而来
不知何时才能到达世界的尽头
到底需要多少汗水和牺牲
才能达到那遥不可及的目标
倒底是为了什么

或许想太多了
只愿山穷水尽疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。

2010-01-09T00:34:00.002+08:00

hahah. i am supposed to be doing my gp hw.
OH MAN! SCHOOL IS IN 2 DAYS' TIME!
our hoilday was long, but IT COULD HAVE BEEN LONGER!!!!!!!!
anw. (:
i decided to do my 2009 reflections, digress a little wun kill rite(: haha.

The beginning of 2009 was still holiday for me- temporary liberation after O levels. that kind of slacking and walking around my house aimlessly is something that i will only get to experience probably after A levels. Then, it was the release of O level results after days and weeks of worries. I was honestly very surprised at my results as i might have mentioned before that i was anticipating 12 pts(i dreamt of it the day before). And then out of nowhere and in the midst of confusion, i ended up where i am today in HC.

The feeling of helplessness in a new environment was nothing but scary. I seriously dread OG session on the first day as there was no one that i know in it. Its just the feeling of i dunnoe what is going to happen there and whether i will be able to make new friends since they were most from IP. Maybe i wasnt the only one feeling tt way cos u can always spot a sea of blue in the auditorium when we had briefings or any common activity. You just have to hang onto something when u are thrown into the ocean isnt it?

CCA exhibition. somehow. now to think of it. how did i even enter huang cheng? i dun really rmb now. i wasnt exactly say passionate about dramas so.... haha. maybe its fate. haha. boonhui will know why i say this. haha. drastic change of environment from secondary school. but i love my CCA now though(:

i really enjoyed myself during orientation. perhaps i didnt really interact much with the guys such tt some dun even noe tt i m in e og and i always mia cos of huang cheng but.... thnks for everythings during the orientation week. its really enjoyable for me(:i really tot the HC had a lot of fun events and traditions... like STJ, JTS ,POP and all the other stuff and believe me or not, i always told my frens frm the other schs tt we do not study only. haha. but tts before the tests and examinations start to set in lar. i mean tts of course rite.

i remember hearing the announcement about some taiwan immersion programme and i just decided tt i was going to attend it even without asking my friends whether i shld go or if they want to go as well. i rmb one of my teacher once said tt we should take any opportunity tt comes and not regret when its gone. i haven been overseas b4(except malaysia), not to say going on an immersion programme. it was a rather great leap for me. flying overseas for the first time and alone. this whole programme really took up alot of my memories of 2009. from interview to the first meeting that we had, and every other meetings which we gather for discussion and practices till when oour buddies came and we went over. although everything is over now, but its really a memorable experience. because i told myself tt i was going to sign up for this, i have not regret it. its when u take a step forward, out of ur comfort zone, when u learn and gain the most. There are too many things that i can say about TIP but i believe most have been mentioned in last year's posts so i shant be a broken recorder. i m really grateful to being able to be a part of HC TIP. from strangers to really good friends, its really hard to come along in life i guess.

to be more serious, my academics in 2009 wasnt very much what i expected. The sudden change in the grades tt u c is really scary and i would have thought of escaping all this. why not just lead a more normal life and dun bother about my studies??? i doubt i can ever do tt given my character. so i bet 2010 will be the year for me to catch up. This also means that i am going to cut down the amount of time i spent on using my computer on really useless stuff like looking at people's status updates on fb everyday dunnoe for what. and and of course i will only blog if there is a need to.

tts e end of reflections.
thanks everybody whom i have crossed path with in 2009 as u have made my year a more pleasant one in one way or another. i cant express my thanks to so many ppl cos or else i m not going to be able to finish my gp hw but just know that i m very thankful to all of u(:
hope tt 2010 will be a better year for all.

ciao.
(:
for next time shall thou blog.

2010-01-01T23:56:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
wells. its 2010.
i played my last mahjong game in 2009 and first bridge game in 2010 within 2 minutes.
haha. tts damn cool.
but somehow welcoming 2010 was rather stressful for me cos this year will be quite tough and i can anticipate that it should be filled with a lot of ups and downs. A levels, cca, school, family, friends and blah blah blah.
i couldnt get the 2009 resolution tt i posted on this blog b4 cos i deleted this blog last year but revived it again. but anw, i think most of my dreams/goals should be fulfilled bah. so here's my 2010 resolution.

My WISHLIST for 2010

Hope that 2010 will be a good year for everyone
I want my hair to grow long
Manage my studies well and do well in A levels
Get scholarship
Stop procrastination
Save money and stop being such a spendthrift

the list is seriously non exhaustive but i dun wan to go on on. All in all, i just hope that 2010 will be smooth-sailing for everyone. Look forward to the year ahead. I am sure that it will be packed with meaningful events and memories.

i think i will post a 2009 reflections soon. Too much to say and my limited vocabulary may not be able to express everything.Anyway, happy new year everyone! Enjoy the long weekend! (:

ciao.

2009-12-27T00:06:00.002+08:00

hello!
MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BELATED BOXING DAY!
(:
well.
just a quick time check.
today is 27/12/2009.
less than 2 more weeks to school reopen.
what have i accomplished?
nothing.
woah.
my mum asked me how much homework i am left with.
answer: i told her to lend me her fingers and toes. tts prob the amt of things to be done. hah. good luck to me.
hwaiting to all last minute homework do-ers! gambatte!

2009-12-20T01:14:00.001+08:00

i was doing my reflections and this very emo yet not suitable for reflections paragraph came across my mind.

That day at Changi airport three months ago, we stood there separated by a thin glass panel. It was the division between our worlds. It was time for you to return to your world and for us to go back to reality. Only after three months will our paths cross again. Then the day came. At the same airport, we crossed into your world. We ventured into an alien place, looking around frantically for familiar faces. It was at the welcome ceremony that we found comfort looking at those smiling eyes. The days were hard as we had to defend and protect ourselves. Yet, you were there for us. Thousands of memories flash through my mind as i sought to recall every single moment there. We went to many places, but that was not the most important thing. It was the company that we had that made every place so wonderful. Twenty eight days that we spent together are enough to make our friendship last forever. How many three more months do we need to meet again? How many three more months will make us forget about each other? That day at Taoyuan airport might jolly well be the last time that we will see each other. It is a fact but we are the ones who decide what is going to happen next and whether we are going to hang on to our friendship or not. I believe that to everyone of us, that eighteen days in Taiwan would be unforgettable and it will probably be the motivation for our paths to cross again.

ciao.

still in the dejavu of taiwan>.<

2009-12-17T19:54:00.004+08:00

i haven blogged for quite long. shall tok about my 4 days tour.

Saturday (12/12/2009)
i was packing my luggage till quite late...
it happens when there are too many things that had to be squeezed into one pathetic luggage.
travelled for 4-5 hours from taipei to taizhong.
we first arrived at 九族文化村which is a themed park and an attraction that shows the aboriginal groups in taiwan.
seriously. i dint know that the pirate ship ride could kill. for a moment, i thought that my heart would stop beating. its too scary even though i wasnt sitting at the top...
i didnt really take a lot of rides cos aft the viking one i have decided tt it was enough for the day..
alot of the others had enjoyed themselves on the mayan adventure and carribean thingy. lolx. exactly those rides tt i saw on tv. haha. is this cool or cool??
checked in to a hotel (清境国民宾馆).its really cool with a starbucks(heard that it is the highest one in asia).it has really good scenery! (:

sunday (13/12/2009)
we went to the farm with loads of sheeps!!! they are super cute!! (: but i always thought that sheeps are supposed to have very white and fluffy fur but those tt i saw had fur that were beige in colour. tts not the main point. the main pt is tt i saw tomorrow!!! guo yan jun and guo yan fu!! omg. i never tot that i would see them!! damn cool. haha. maybe i will be on tv! (: aft tt, we went to some place that manufactures paper to make paper fan. i wasnt really happy with mine so i threw it away despite doing it for damn long):

monday (14/12/2009)
the day filled with exercising. man. the morning walk was abit not very tiring ah. lol! the whole trip up the mountain was about 4 to 5 km. geez. just going up is about 2.4km.i think tt this taiwan trip made me become more fit.haha. carrying heavy luggages and walking so much. lolx. went 集集小镇and 鹿港。 i bought lots of food!! yummy. haha. nothing much tat happened except for walking and walking.

tuesday (15/12/2009)
last day of tour.
went to the 921 earthquake museum.
there was a strange feeling when i saw the school that was damaged by the earthquake.
singapore is really lucky tt we dun hv to face such a terrible earthquake!! phew.
checked into the aurora hotel. seriously. i have never stayed in such a big and spacious and beautiful hotel in my entire life b4. its really very pretty!!! it has 2 toilets, 2 rooms, a living room and a kitchen that is well equipped. we had farewell dinner after tt. the mood wasnt really there... and my face was burning throughout. i think tts when my fever started to kick in. sian.
stayed up quite late to write letters but i gave up halfway cos i was really too tired.
seriously. i think the front desk ppl were quite pissed off with our room. haha. first is 9 pairs of chopsticks and then it was the printing kiosks. haha.

wednesday(16/12/2009)
last day in taiwan.
best breakfast ever.
i swore tt i was not going to cry at the airport but gave in eventually. i tot i could be strong but i failed. initially i wasnt even in the farewell mood thanks to my flu. but when more ppl started crying, u will get influenced. the last thing i can stand is guys crying cos when even guys cry, it shows tt this is really "worth" crying... its just.. ): i feel sad when i see guys crying.. dunnoe why.
the flight back to singapore was boring ttm cos there werent nice movies to watch or nice songs to listen to. i had nothing to do and my flu was killing me. sorry fiona for waking u up when u were sleeping when i needed to go to the toilet. i tot i was going deaf when the plane was descending. i felt this excruciating pain in my ears, as if it was going to drop out. i did not experience this before so i was quite scared. and the pain is really.... unbearable.
returning to singapore meant returning to reality, returning to my life of nothing but studies.
i must catch up on eveything that i missed.
jiayou!! (:

2009-12-17T19:03:00.001+08:00

天亮了，

梦醒了。

回到了自己的世界。

这次不会有三个月的等待。。。

不知何时再相逢。

不知道需要多少三个月，

才能在相见。

要向台湾的大家道歉

因为我没有给每个人写信。。。

因为没有坚持，

所以无法写给所有的人。

台湾之旅。。。

想必会是一场刻骨铭心的梦。

发生了许许多多的第一次（不要想歪）。。。

第一次出国（除了马来西亚以外）
第一次自己出国
第一次搭飞机
第一次要自己照顾自己
第一次在忘记捷运出口时敢到彷徨
第一次吃到那么好吃的口香糖
第一次到他国交流
第一次住别人的家
第一次和那么多只狗相处
第一次在教室中感到那么温馨
第一次吃臭豆腐和鸭血
第一次扭到脚
第一次疯狂地购物

还有好多好多。。。

我的记忆力真的很不好。。

不知道几时会把在台湾的一切回忆都忘得一干二净。。

我好害怕不能记起台湾的人和事。

2009-12-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

i realise tt i haven been blogging ever since i went jiu fen.
its really a very scenic place and the place tt we stayed in can be compared to the quality of the hotel. i saw too many things there. like the funny scenes of people who are really drunk and have no idea what they are doing and still insist tt they are awake?? lolx.
i m reminding myself not to get addicted to alcohol. cos everything is going to return to normal when i go back to singapore. no alcohol and no weird people.
people really start to act weirdly when they are drunk and come to think of it.... the things tt happened were a little weird.. even ppl who werent drunk acted strangely....
but the place was really fun apart from the never ending flight of stairs to the shops, everything else was fun. we even went shi fen to release some tian deng. hope tt all our wishes will come true as our tian deng reaches the heaven.
lolx. our room was eventually messed up and corrupted despite me insisting tt it is going to be a pure and innocent one cos every other room had ppl who are like drunk.
today is already wednesday and i m leaving my homestay on sat morn and its gonna be a really sad thing cos i will miss my buddy and her family):
man. today was a really sad day cos char's buddy's mum actually asked her if her fren (which is me) is a guy anot. i mean come on.. i know i have the built of an average guy... prob a little shorter and fatter... but still.... tts a very sad thing to be said tt i m a guy.... i have been looking at ppl and wondering if they are guy/girl but i never knew tt similar things would occur to me. sad. i really look like a guy??? maybe. though i may not be pretty, may not be feminine, still... geez.
prob i shld consider cross dressing ah??
today i heard the story of an epic *****. it will seriously hurt one's ears when listening to the stories of her. seriously. dun make me vomit.
aiyo.
i need to go alr.
update soon i hope.
byes
(:

2009-12-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

day 5.
today was the most malu day ever.
i think i left my brain in singapore.
i totally didnt realise tt my skirt was hiked up andmy leggings at the thigh part was totally exposed. super obscene!! anw.
i keep forgetting stuff today. like where i placed my camera, phone,specs etc etc.
sianz
had some design and technology lesson and i lost the product tt i did): super sad. i actually forgot to bring it back aft the lesson. i knew i forgot to bring sth when i was going out of the class but i couldnt figure out what it was. geez. i knew tt this was coming.
anw. today minglun people arranged to go hot spring but i couldnt go cos my buddy's grandma had a birthday celebration at a restaurant.the food was delicious but i think i m going to need to go on a diet when i return to singapore. too much food(calories) intake.
and i realise that my english is becoming more and more powderful..):
my sentence structure and everything are going hay-wired and and .... i HAVE SAT IN JANUARY. bless me! *sigh*
kay kay.
i m ending here.
hahz.
taiwan beer somehow taste and smell nicer than singapore's! lolx.
nites(:

2009-12-03T13:30:00.001+08:00

ello.
day 4 in taiwan.
wells.
today is just school and we went gong guan.
school was a bit funny cos i totally look like a taiwanese and even the form teacher of my buddy thought that i was in the class>.anw.
i realise sth today.
i pity myself.
i m surrounded by lots of acquaintances in my life but yet i wonder who is my confidant and true friend??
i wanna change the way i look like with a complete makeover or sth from head to toe.
perhaps.
sian.
now i m feeling abit homesick alr.
abit tired and bored.
maybe i will aster the art of stoning by the time i am back in singapore.lolx.

kays
nites
(:

2009-12-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!!
i am currently still in taiwan day 3(:
ytd was a fab day cos we went ximending aft sch!!!
damn cool
finally went there after seeing so much of it on tv shows!!!
i bought a new converse shoes which i thought was quite cheap and i desparately needed a pair of new shoes..(:
my leg is only one word--- screwed.
i went to see doc today and missing out on the welcome dinner but lucky i went to see him today cos he said that my ankle is a little dislocated): stupid heels. seriously. i dun wanna see it ever again aft so many blisters and a dislocated ankle!
my foot is currently equivalent to the size of a trotter. no joke.
and and... i couldnt dance. i mean i dunnoe what the others will think of it as but i did not purposely injure myself so that i can dun dance. fyi, i even bought the cap and was practising the dance this morn despite my very screwed leg. what makes u think that i purposely not want to dance? seriously. i really swear tt i want to dance or else all the time spent on it will be totally wasted... boo):
want to take lots of photos!! (:
waiting for tml to come
i am wondering when i will actually start doing my work??prob not now. haha
I AM SO PROUD OF HWACHONG!haha. somebody actually recognise us as ppl from hwachong when we were wearing our blazers at ximending. cool. though tt might be a singaporean but still its good to be recognised overseas.haha(:
still waiting for the rest of the days to come.
ZZZZ....
a few more days then i will be on the plane on my way back to singapore....
prob not looking forward to tt day):

2009-11-29T23:02:00.001+08:00

i just reached my buddy's house in taoyuan
now everything to me seems to be like a dream...
i just somehow reached taiwan...
haha
actually the plane flight wasnt tt bad afterall(:
i didnt really experience any ear block or whatever
and and i m really looking forward to my next airplane journey which is probably departure from taiwan(:
the air stewardess resembles the one in phobia....
quite scary!!!!
but i think its so cool and fun to be air stewardess!!!
lolx
my future ambition((:
kidding
anw
i shall end up...
ohoh
and and i just went to shilin!!!! (:
ciao
(:
till next time?

2009-11-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

today is the 5th day at camp (also my last day)
thanks fiona and xu lie for specially coming to sch just to help me with the dance(:
i hope i can do it well on the performance day(:

we had tech run for the first time and i thought it was quite good cos i was really touched by the plot, despite some problems with coordination... i am sorry if i malu-ed myself when subbing as one of the main lead cos i have never acted before other than my drama lessons in primary school!! anw.. GROUP G you all really have to buck up. ur attitudes really have to be changed. just do ur best and be aware that actually a lot is expected from u all as the host school. jiayou!!

anw. today was a damn emo day for me.
i hate walking alone cos i will think about alot of stuff.
i break camp earlier than my other fellow facils cos i had to get my performance shirt from charmaine...
it hadnt struck me tt i wasnt even attending tml's camp during the debrief.
i forgot tt i am leaving in 2 days..
it caught me unprepared.
saying good-byes to e other facils and GROUP 7 was really very hard.
i wonder when is the next time tt i will see ppl from GRP 7 again..
probably never.
i wonder when my goldfish memory will forget about their faces and names...
i wonder....
though didnt spend alot of time when my group... there was just this weird connection..
i really dint know that i was such a sentimental person before this..
hope to see them in huang cheng ye yun next year!(:
bet i will miss each and everyone of them...
the other facils...
it's just goodnight and not goodbye...
although i will get to see them when i come back but still...
i felt super emotional...
especially when they all said bye to me):
really... i couldnt take it anymore...

i walked down the road towards the gate with everything in front of me all too blur.
looks like i got to eat more carrots which i totally hate...
anw. the road was so dark and empty.
i was the only one there.
left alone and standing out of nowhere.
its just the sense of helplessness and sadness that overwhelmed me..
while i was waiting for a cab...
all the vehicles that were on the road went past me...
none tt was stopping for me):
i looked back at the clock tower and i was thinking if all my friends are still there...
i was wondering how it will be if i am still there with them...
prob laughing about very very minor stuff and going crazy over things that never makes any sense..
now, i regret choosing to go taiwan..

i am overwhelmed with anxiety,fear, helplessness and everything else...
my first time on an aeroplane...
first time travelling alone without my parents
first time visiting a country that isnt malaysia...
it seems like time pass too fast and i cant adapt fast enough...
i am scared to be more exact):

now its just one more day.. AND I HAVENT PACKED MY BAG!
AND I WANNA WATCH YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
butterflies and caterpillars ane everything else are going wild in my stomach! geez

well
ciao
will post tml before my flight
nights(:

GROUP G de PPL!!!
must take care kies?
drink lots of water and sleep well.
just relax and do ur best tml!!!

2009-11-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

today is a really really really BAD DAY.
hate it.
I HATE MYSELF.
damn.
god.
there's no way i can practise my dance when i reach home at 11 plus...
oh man.
WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?
i seriously think that perhaps... i mean perhaps i made the wrong decisions):

too many things happened.
things changed and perceptions can be changed easily.
i wanna look at the brighter side...
regain my optimism..
be cheerful again
AND NOT ONLY BE HIGH WHEN I M SUPPOSED TO OR WORSE WHEN I AM TIRED

but i really liked to hang out with the huang cheng ppl!!!!
(:
haha.
the multi-languages....
hah.
i need to brush up on my canto and jap and hakka and korean and everything else(:

处于一个身不由己的处境。。。
放手。。。
):

2009-11-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

i want my hair back. resisted from cutting for 4 months and then today.... i dunnoe what happened to me. prob ina really bad mood so i just asked the hairdresser to snip away more than 1 inch of my hair. now ppl are going to call me "ah-boy" again. sianz.

bad day in camp):

i m super tired.

feel as if my body cant take it anymore.

i m pushing myself to the edge.

i am supposed to go for both TIP and camp so i was like popping in at dance studio for 1 hour... learnt ares dance which i cant recollect at all. I KNOW THAT THIS AIN'T GONNA BE EASY. i wonder how i m going to learn so many different moves when i can only afford so little time for it): i don't want to be the one who is making the whole dance look bad... I DONT WANT TO. think i will just try my best bah. like learn from the video.... only a few more days left before we depart for taiwan... the stress that i feel now is seriously worse than promos. near breakdown point. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

平静的黑夜。

那盏灯为我照亮前方。

灯熄灭了。

眼前只剩下一片黑暗

以及无言的恐慌。。。

有谁能明白我的心情？？

有谁能体谅我的处境？？

我不需要更多的虚情假意。。。

我需要更多属于自己的时间

我需要更多能了解我的人。

2009-11-22T20:50:00.000+08:00

I WILL BE IN TAIWAN IN A WEEKS' TIME!

FINALLY AFTER SO MANY WEEKS OF WAITING!

((:

2009-11-21T23:04:00.001+08:00

i revived my blog.....
realised tt i needed to get those thoughts in my head out before i get crazy...
well...
welcome back(:

fairytales.do.not.exist

東城衛 爆走搖滾演唱會-It's My Life

END OF PRELIMS!!!! HOORAY!!! (:

東城衛&曾沛慈-夠愛MV[完整版]

未来是个未知数

東城衛爆走搖滾演唱會-It's My Life