i was in a really bad mood(frustrated and completely helplessness) today.
so i am going to apologise in advance that the following post will be full of rants and emo-ness.

actually, sometimes i just wonder if i m not tt outstanding enough that i can be completely invinsible... there's really nothing that i can do about it but its just like tt. cos i m in a new environment and if they do not accept and respect me for who i m then what can i do??? NOTHING. honestly. totally nothing. it makes me very pissed at myself. i am really someone who can be killed by guilt and self criticism. I SWEAR THAT I DID NOT BRING MY PHONE TO SCHOOL AND I DID NOT EVEN CHECK MY PHONE THIS MORNING OR I WLD HV BROUGHT IT TO SCHOOL. i dun want to be deemed useless and worthless like some invalid person. i want to be useful. i need ppl to noe my presence and not treat me like some transparent person.i want to do something. i want to know what is going on though i might be a little blur. what will i be to the juniors? some unknown senior who slacks around??!! no way. i dun want tt. seriously>.< i dun want to be seen an worthless. What can i do? perhaps someone can enlighten me. I need someone to tell me what is wrong now so tt i can change and improve and do sth rite. i dun wan to be so useless. DO U GET IT? zzzz omg. i seriously cant seem to control my thoughts and emotions and i am goin back to the old question of why am i doing this and doing tt. i was just wondering why am i having so many tuitions and totally exhausting myself to death??? for what?! damn.

enough of all tt. its totally spoiling my day. i wonder how am i going to survive this year. freak.
leave me to die in guilt.
i regret my choices and i m doubting them now.
sian ttm.


i m looking forward to the end of this year man.
haha. what a funny thing to say in january.
whatever lar.
i still pray for a good year ahead.

~i don't wanna be alone.